Feb 1 2016 - Crimes against happiness

With our spinnaker giving us a flat gentle ride on a warm sunny day, we finally had the opportunity to mark crossing the equator. King Neptune (dramatized by shellback Sean) and his sidekick "Davinia" (Elaine) made a showing, accusing each of the 7 Polliwogs of various crimes and demanded to see how each would make up for these crimes through a show of talent. Dress code for the event was backwards garb for the Polliwogs. Crimes against sleep (snoring), cows (letting milk spoil), fashion (Hawaiian shirt), teeth (serving olives with pits) and happiness, etc., were enumerated. Apparently, I am far too happy all of the time. We made up for our sins with displays of bad jokes, poetry and dance (the awkward pole dancer ended up in Neptune's lap and the wavy floor came up to meet the Can-Can dancer as she went for her splits). The Shellbacks, who've already crossed the equator by sailboat at least once, judged our performances. It was agreed that my groaner joke poorly told brought down the general mood of the crew suitably and I have been permitted to continue to sailing in Neptune's Kingdom. I am officially a Shellback.